Jan 14 2011
We are truly living in a remarkable era.
Truth telling via internet media like Facebook, blogging, and other ways to transmit words and images has brought revolutionary change to places like Egypt, Tunisia and now Libya, one of the most brutal dictatorships in the world.
Truth to power. May it bring us more peace, justice and democracy all over the world.
Oct 12 2009
Practice makes perfect and helps train the brain…it all gets easier the more you do it.Turning down the volume of conversations will help too. We can hear each other pretty well, if we feel like raising our voices, it is likely a time for a time-out. Have a cup of tea, do some breathing, then come back later to the conversation.
When I do listening exercises in session with couples, it helpfsto reduce the levels of conflict and create a warmer space for them to be with each other. There is a little hope that things can get better at home.
At the end of the communication exercise, I ask couples to give each other feedback about what they liked about this new way of talking with each other.
Here are some of the things that couples say to each other:
“I liked the way you expressed your feelings so directly.â€
“you listened carefully to what I was sayingâ€
“I liked hearing you reflect back what I was saying to youâ€
“hearing my words reflected back gave me a chance to hear what I was saying…I could evaluate and clarify my words, so I could say what I really meanâ€
“when I was listening, I realized how much I would argue and try to win the debate, rather than really listen to what you were sayingâ€
“I realized how much what I usually say is blaming…I am not really talking about what I think, feel and want…rather how much I try to make to blame for my unhappinessâ€
Using words connected to honest feelings is the only way to create an intimate relationship.
May 16 2009
Now is now and then is then. I hear this often in my work with clients. I understand their concern and try to help them determine the relevancy of their family history to their current life situation. This is called “family of origin” work within the field of family therapy. What does this work look like?
Apr 20 2009
Many of the major movie critics identified several flaws in the movie, The Reader. The flaws included being hard to believe, reductionist (the death of millions of Jews to the issue of literacy), morally ambiguous, and character development lacking depth and sharpness.
Read them here.
Aug 06 2008
Check it out here.
Jul 26 2008
I want to share an inspirational story with you related to girls, athletics, and what’s really important in life.
The story is about two female college softball teams
Jul 01 2008
Interested in a book that can help you discover what you didn’t receive growing up in your family? My friend Sandy Dellutri, LCSW recommends Self-Esteem: A family affair. Here is what Sandy says about the book:
Jul 01 2008
I am nearly finished reading Escape, by Carolyn Jessop. It is her story of life inside the FLDS religious cult and her eventual escape. I am upset and confused…
Jun 27 2008
Life in a Jar, was the play a group of young Kansas students wrote to honor Irena Sendlerowa for her humility and courage saving the lives of thousands of Jewish infants and children in the Warsaw ghetto during World War II.