Comments for Counseling in Chicago with Bill Martin, LCSW http://www.counselinginchicago.com Exploring counseling & psychotherapy, what works, and the research that supports it. Bill Martin, LCSW 312-409-0632 Bmartin222@aol.com Fri, 12 Mar 2010 02:30:18 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.5 Comment on 3-Steps to evaluate whether you might be a problem drinker by Tim Hansen http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2008/10/24/3-steps-to-evaluate-whether-you-are-a-problem-drinker-or-not/#comment-18854 Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:43:57 +0000 http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2008/10/24/3-steps-to-evaluate-whether-you-are-a-problem-drinker-or-not/#comment-18854 My experience has been that one can determine if he or she is a problem drinker by considering these four statements: 1. If, when you drink, you have no control over how much you drink and/or: 2. If, when you decide to stop for any period of time, you find you cannot stay stopped and/or: 3. If you find that you are spending any amount of time at all promising yourself you are not going to drink, or that you find yourself justifying why you deserve to drink again, or: 4. You find yourself taking a lot of tests to determine whether you drink too much or "Are you an alcoholic?", etc. If this sounds like you, then you are probably an alcoholic. Non alcoholics never give their drinking much consideration at all. Alcoholics on the other had are obsessed by their alcohol intake in one way or another. If you fall into any of the above categories you should probably quit altogether. Tim Hansen My experience has been that one can determine if he or she is a problem drinker by considering these four statements:

1. If, when you drink, you have no control over how much you drink and/or:

2. If, when you decide to stop for any period of time, you find you cannot stay stopped and/or:

3. If you find that you are spending any amount of time at all promising yourself you are not going to drink, or that you find yourself justifying why you deserve to drink again, or:

4. You find yourself taking a lot of tests to determine whether you drink too much or “Are you an alcoholic?”, etc. If this sounds like you, then you are probably an alcoholic.

Non alcoholics never give their drinking much consideration at all.

Alcoholics on the other had are obsessed by their alcohol intake in one way or another. If you fall into any of the above categories you should probably quit altogether.

Tim Hansen

]]> Comment on Why You Become So Upset During Arguments: The Role of Adrenaline In The Survival Of The Species by Elisa http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/10/16/why-you-become-so-upset-during-arguments-the-role-of-adrenaline-in-the-survival-of-the-species/#comment-18434 Sat, 24 Oct 2009 17:17:54 +0000 http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/10/16/why-you-become-so-upset-during-arguments-the-role-of-adrenaline-in-the-survival-of-the-species/#comment-18434 So true! So true!

]]> Comment on My TV Interview About Narcissism, Crime, and the Popular Media by Susan L. Adler, LCSW, ACSW http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/05/19/why-psychotherapists-should-not-be-interviewed-for-television/#comment-11378 Mon, 15 Jun 2009 02:16:12 +0000 http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/05/19/why-psychotherapists-should-not-be-interviewed-for-television/#comment-11378 Hi Bill! How are you?? I hope all is well. Congratulations on your TV interview - very, very cool. I'm checking your website out! My son is home from college and insisting I set one up. Was it hard to do? I see you got mucho stuff on it! Take care Bill and stay in touch. Susan Hi Bill! How are you?? I hope all is well. Congratulations on your TV interview - very, very cool. I’m checking your website out! My son is home from college and insisting I set one up. Was it hard to do? I see you got mucho stuff on it! Take care Bill and stay in touch. Susan

]]> Comment on My TV Interview About Narcissism, Crime, and the Popular Media by Bill Martin, LCSW http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/05/19/why-psychotherapists-should-not-be-interviewed-for-television/#comment-10535 Thu, 21 May 2009 18:59:30 +0000 http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/05/19/why-psychotherapists-should-not-be-interviewed-for-television/#comment-10535 Thanks Liz! I appreciate your support! Thanks Liz! I appreciate your support!

]]> Comment on My TV Interview About Narcissism, Crime, and the Popular Media by Liz http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/05/19/why-psychotherapists-should-not-be-interviewed-for-television/#comment-10465 Wed, 20 May 2009 16:59:46 +0000 http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/05/19/why-psychotherapists-should-not-be-interviewed-for-television/#comment-10465 I'm so proud of you for being interviewed, tho (and watch out, Dr. Phil!). I think I would have run screaming from the phone if the producer called, and I'd probably have needed to change my cell phone number just so they'd never be able to scare me like that again. :-) I’m so proud of you for being interviewed, tho (and watch out, Dr. Phil!). I think I would have run screaming from the phone if the producer called, and I’d probably have needed to change my cell phone number just so they’d never be able to scare me like that again. :-)

]]> Comment on Kate Winslet and The Reader: Is it Sexual Molestation When an Adult Woman has Sex with an Adolescent Boy? by Bulletin Board v.44 « Toy Soldiers http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/04/18/kate-winslet-and-the-reader-how-to-avoid-the-moral-dilemma-of-the-sexual-exploitation-of-a-minor-boy-by-an-older-woman/#comment-9438 Sat, 25 Apr 2009 14:27:49 +0000 http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/04/18/kate-winslet-and-the-reader-how-to-avoid-the-moral-dilemma-of-the-sexual-exploitation-of-a-minor-boy-by-an-older-woman/#comment-9438 [...] Kate Winslet and The Reader: Is it Sexual Molestation When an Adult Woman has Sex with an Adolescent Boy? — While watching the film last night, I struggled to understand the story the director was trying to tell. I told my wife I would have to read the book to really understand the angst felt by the characters in the movie. I just didn’t believe the characters in the movie. Yes, Kate Winslet is beautiful and a great actress. Was she believable as Hanna? I don’t think so. Like Kimmel says, it is very hard to believe that “Hanna would rather be imprisoned for committing war crimes at Auschwitz than admit she can’t read.” Perhaps more importantly, the film’s portrayal of the sexual molestation of the 15 year old boy as a love affair is ridiculous. [...] […] Kate Winslet and The Reader: Is it Sexual Molestation When an Adult Woman has Sex with an Adolescent Boy? — While watching the film last night, I struggled to understand the story the director was trying to tell. I told my wife I would have to read the book to really understand the angst felt by the characters in the movie. I just didn’t believe the characters in the movie. Yes, Kate Winslet is beautiful and a great actress. Was she believable as Hanna? I don’t think so. Like Kimmel says, it is very hard to believe that “Hanna would rather be imprisoned for committing war crimes at Auschwitz than admit she can’t read.” Perhaps more importantly, the film’s portrayal of the sexual molestation of the 15 year old boy as a love affair is ridiculous. […]

]]> Comment on Do Adults Accurately Remember Being Sexually Abused? Read Linda Meyer Williams’ Research Article, Recall of Childhood Trauma: A Prospective Study of Women’s Memories of Child Sexual Abuse by Liz McGowen http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/04/21/what-happens-to-women-who-are-sexually-abused-as-children-38-develop-abuse-amnesia-read-linda-meyer-williams-research-article/#comment-9201 Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:11:07 +0000 http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/04/21/what-happens-to-women-who-are-sexually-abused-as-children-38-develop-abuse-amnesia-read-linda-meyer-williams-research-article/#comment-9201 Fascinating article. Thank you for posting it. I sometimes feel my brain will turn to spaghetti with as little actual intellectual stimulation I actually get! A comment, after skimming the article. I found the example of the family story (the woman who had been told her uncle died before her birth) very interesting. I wonder whether in the cases of no recall it wasn't the person who was too embarrassed or who had forgotten, but the entire family who had created a rather elaborate story to make themselves able to cope with the event. When a child is young (even as young as 6), it's much easier for such a "family myth" to take root. I've worked with several families who have created these types of stories and essentially erased what happened. Also, I would be interested in whether the developmental stage of the victim has anything to do with the recall -- eg, if someone is becoming sexually active, or just had a first child, or has reached the same age that they were when they were a victim, is there any greater likelihood of them recalling the event. Take care. Thanks for adding some substance to my brain! Fascinating article. Thank you for posting it. I sometimes feel my brain will turn to spaghetti with as little actual intellectual stimulation I actually get!

A comment, after skimming the article. I found the example of the family story (the woman who had been told her uncle died before her birth) very interesting. I wonder whether in the cases of no recall it wasn’t the person who was too embarrassed or who had forgotten, but the entire family who had created a rather elaborate story to make themselves able to cope with the event. When a child is young (even as young as 6), it’s much easier for such a “family myth” to take root. I’ve worked with several families who have created these types of stories and essentially erased what happened.

Also, I would be interested in whether the developmental stage of the victim has anything to do with the recall — eg, if someone is becoming sexually active, or just had a first child, or has reached the same age that they were when they were a victim, is there any greater likelihood of them recalling the event.

Take care. Thanks for adding some substance to my brain!

]]> Comment on Couples Connecting: Bruce Koff’s New Blog for LGBTQ Couples by Liz McGowen http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/04/12/couples-connecting-bruce-koffs-new-blog-for-lgbtq-couples/#comment-8626 Mon, 13 Apr 2009 21:33:49 +0000 http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2009/04/12/couples-connecting-bruce-koffs-new-blog-for-lgbtq-couples/#comment-8626 Just wanted to let you know I like your blog. There's so much care put into it, and lots of helpful info. Thanks for the note about the new blog. I'll check it out. Take care! Just wanted to let you know I like your blog. There’s so much care put into it, and lots of helpful info. Thanks for the note about the new blog. I’ll check it out.

Take care!

]]> Comment on What are the characteristics of a Cult? by Cathy Nelson http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2008/07/07/cults-what-are-they-and-how-do-they-function/#comment-5774 Mon, 02 Mar 2009 23:23:07 +0000 http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2008/07/07/cults-what-are-they-and-how-do-they-function/#comment-5774 Great info! I was a member of jehovah's witnesses from aged 17 to 43 (up to over a decade ago!) Robert Lifton's work "Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism" was invaluable to me as far as educating myself re "high-control groups". Also, watching the movie 1984 was helpful. thanks for this article Great info! I was a member of jehovah’s witnesses from aged 17 to 43 (up to over a decade ago!) Robert Lifton’s work “Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism” was invaluable to me as far as educating myself re “high-control groups”. Also, watching the movie 1984 was helpful.

thanks for this article

]]> Comment on How does a stroke affect your brain? Listen to Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor talk about it during her video lecture here… by Louise Karkula http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2008/03/30/how-does-a-stroke-affect-your-brain-listent-to-dr-jill-bolte-taylor-talk-about-it-during-her-video-lecture-here/#comment-4531 Fri, 16 Jan 2009 22:45:13 +0000 http://www.counselinginchicago.com/2008/03/30/how-does-a-stroke-affect-your-brain-listent-to-dr-jill-bolte-taylor-talk-about-it-during-her-video-lecture-here/#comment-4531 I need help reconciling my life and my career and my lack of family support regarding my stroke. Bill and I would like to get some counseling for this as he also needs help living as a caregiver to me and finding a support group in our area that we can attend. Also I am going through some depression from my stroke just because of the physical damage that it has caused (frontal lobe damage). Like Jill (whose book I did read) I also had an av malformation that ruptured in recovery from brain surgery. I also suffer from seizures that they can't control. I was in a coma for several days and in intensive care for a month. I was not expected to live, and the doctors thought that if I did survive, I would be in a vegitative state for the rest of my life. I am very proud of the progress that I have made. I worked very hard to recover the use of my right side, which was totally paralyzed. My family does not feel the same way. I need help reconciling my life and my career and my lack of family support regarding my stroke. Bill and I would like to get some counseling for this as he also needs help living as a caregiver to me and finding a support group in our area that we can attend. Also I am going through some depression from my stroke just because of the physical damage that it has caused (frontal lobe damage). Like Jill (whose book I did read) I also had an av malformation that ruptured in recovery from brain surgery. I also suffer from seizures that they can’t control. I was in a coma for several days and in intensive care for a month. I was not expected to live, and the doctors thought that if I did survive, I would be in a vegitative state for the rest of my life. I am very proud of the progress that I have made. I worked very hard to recover the use of my right side, which was totally paralyzed. My family does not feel the same way.

]]>