Counseling in Chicago with Bill Martin, LCSW

Read an absolutely fascinating (if you’re interested in mirror neurons! article about the importance of mirror neurons.

Read the article here.

A Columbia University research project using functional MRI scanning has mapped the two brain systems responsible for empathic accuracy, the parietal and premotor cortex.

These two brain systems help humans understand the intentions of simple gestures, interpret the meaning of those gestures and place them into context.

The researchers used a group of volunteers (objects) to talk about emotional events in their lives while being videotaped. Later, these volunteers watched themselves on video and evaluated whether they felt positively or negatively while talking about these live events.

Then, a second group of volunteers (perceivers) watched the same videotapes and were asked to evaluate the positive or negative experience of the initial volunteers as they described their life events while also hooked up to functional MRI scanning devices to measure which brain systems were activated.
When the perceivers were accurate about the emotional experience, the same brain systems, the parietal and premotor cortex were activated.

Interestingly, when the perceivers were wrong, a third brain system was activated that involves the control and management of one’s own feelings.

This suggested to the researchers that a persons attention to their own feelings may cause them to miss the gestures and other behaviors linked to the feelings of others.

Read the summary of the study here.

Monkeys like to eat and drink like the rest of us, but the research results about the power of empathy are fascinating.

The monkeys starve themselves rather than subject other monkeys to experience the pain of electric shock.

Pretty remarkable and says a lot about why children go to great lengths to “please” their parents and families so early in life, especially if the parent is in some type of pain.

In their article, pubished online here, “Empathy: Its ultimate and proximate bases,” Stephanie Preston and Frans De Wall describe the research detailing the biological basis for empathy.

Humans, like other mammals, are hardwired to respond to other conspecific’s (same species) pain.

The authors offer a biological explanation of empathy, called the Perception-Action Model (p4), which states that “the attended perception of the object’s (person/entity) being observed) state automatically primes or generates the autonomic or somatic responses, unless unhibited.”

So, the monkey or human infant (subject) after about one years of age, has a biologically driven response to viewing the pain or emotional experiences of others (object).

Think about what this means to children growing up in very vulnerable families with mentally ill,  substance abusing or just plain unhappy parents…

Practice makes perfect and helps train the brain…it all gets easier the more you do it.Turning down the volume of conversations will help too. We can hear each other pretty well, if we feel like raising our voices, it is likely a time for a time-out. Have a cup of tea, do some breathing, then come back later to the conversation.

When I do listening exercises in session with couples, it helpfsto reduce the levels of conflict and create a warmer space for them to be with each other. There is a little hope that things can get better at home.

At the end of the communication exercise, I ask couples to give each other feedback about what they liked about this new way of talking with each other.

Here are some of the things that couples say to each other:

“I liked the way you expressed your feelings so directly.”

“you listened carefully to what I was saying”

“I liked hearing you reflect back what I was saying to you”

“hearing my words reflected back gave me a chance to hear what I was saying…I could evaluate and clarify my words, so I could say what I really mean”

“when I was listening, I realized how much I would argue and try to win the debate, rather than really listen to what you were saying”

“I realized how much what I usually say is blaming…I am not really talking about what I think, feel and want…rather how much I try to make to blame for my unhappiness”

Using words connected to honest feelings is the only way to create an intimate relationship.

Speaking as a therapist with some knowledge and experience in the MKP programs, I applaud MKP and its governing Board of Directors and Leaders for developing a new policy of openness and transparency.

I had a long discussion with the MKP Executive Director and read his press release describing the sweat lodge policies and the new transparency policy.

They offer clear explanations of the purpose, methods, safety precautions, and the efforts of the program to dialogue with Native American people to clarify the intentions of the MKP Sweat Lodge program.
Further, they offer anyone the opportunity to talk at length with anyone from the organization about specific exercises and any and all processes on the weekend.

The frequently asked questions page on their website offers good details on what happens and why.
Having participated in a few of these Lodges, I can say without hesitation, they are safe, do not exploit Native American spirituality, participants are free to leave at any time, and the men who lead this process go through extensive training before they are authorized to lead this part of the program.

While I personally did not like the heat inside the lodge, I did not feel claustrophobic, there was plenty of light to see around, plenty of drinking water was available, and the door was opened often to allow fresh air inside.

I would add that what happens outside of the sweat lodge is very valuable as well. Men are responsible to provide care for any men who approach the lodge.

Often when I staffed, I would go to the lodge area and spend time with the men there who were very affirming, kind, and accepting. They knew exactly what to do…be there, stay connected and remain affirming and non-judgemental.
I long ago began describing the experience in detail to anyone I knew who was considering going to the weekend.

I found that no matter how vividly I described it, most had a very powerful experience and whatever I had said really didn’t matter.

I believe it has something to do with the different ways the thinking brain and emotional brain of human beings process reality, but this is another discussion.
Bravo to MKP for its new policy of transparency.

There are many psychologists and other behavioral health professionals concerned about the use of torture by the United States during the last decade. For a 10 minute video by Roy Eidelson, PhD., President-Elect, Psychologists for Social Responsibility, summarizing these concerns, click here.

I recently came across this research article on abuse amnesia and dissociation which you can read in its entirety.

To read, click here.