Counseling in Chicago with Bill Martin, LCSW

Damage control. It usually starts with finding ways to impugn the character of whoever is causing you trouble.  Ad Hominem Logic. I have talked about his before…it doesn’t matter what someone says, they are bad, so whatever they say is bad too. And don’t do it yourself. Have someone else spread the rumors…enter Stefan Fatsis.
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Jay Cutler felt betrayed by the authority system in Denver, demanded a trade, and is now a Chicago Bear. The details are emerging slowly, but it seems the owner of the Broncos and their new 32 year old coach, Josh McDaniels, may not have been honest when speaking to Cutler. So, Cutler decided to cut bait and leave the team. Good for him!

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Do you wonder if you have a magnet that attracts people who only want to take from you and drain you dry?

If so, you should read Albert Bernstein’s book, Emotional Vampires… so you can learn to spot a narcissist quickly. Here are some of the characteristics to look for in emotional vampires…

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Cults…I talk a lot about the YFZ Ranch and the FLDS, but what are some of the characteristics of a cult?

• mind control…use of bizarre religious or secular ideas to enforce the obedience of followers
• emotional disclosure…participants are encouraged to disclose private, emotionally important information…while the leaders do not share emotional information with the larger group
• recruitment…participants are encouraged/expected to go out and recruit others to join the cult organization using deceptive and manipulative tactics
• restriction from all outside ideas and influences ( no radio, television, computer/internet, newspapers)
• Claims that the outside world is evil and will lead to the death or damnation of anyone who betrays the cult
• Participants are manipulated to believe that they can not survive without all the cult offers them
• leaders are a few men who directly benefit from the cult by abuse, manipulation, threat of harm, sexual control of women and intricate financial arrangements

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Glenn Reynolds, a law professor at the University of Tennessee and writer, tells a story of Alan Dershowitz trying to act like the smartest person in the courtroom, and thus proving he was not.

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Narcissistic people are like emotional vampires because if you get too involved with them, they leave you feeling emotionally drained and burned out. How to spot an emotional vampire….
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If you feel exhausted and burned out dealing with your colleagues at work, (or anywhere) then it is likely they are narcissists or have those self focused qualities. Here are some questions to help you evaluate your situation:

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Narcissus was the young man in Greek mythology who was doomed to die worshipping his own reflection in a pool, even though men and women loved him intensely.
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Freud gave us the term Narcissism to describe those people who tend to have little insight about the impact of their selfish, self-absorbed, and dominating behavior on others.

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