Counseling in Chicago with Bill Martin, LCSW

It’s pretty simple. The research shows us that when people feel discouraged and helpless, they are more likely to become depressed. There are several landmark studies conducted by Martin Seligman and Steven Maier describing the phenomenon of learned helplessness using dogs and the effect of exposing the dogs to unpleasant electrical shocks while in a harness.
Ouch! While it does seem unpleasant to expose dogs to electric shocks,

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James Arthur Ray, plastic shaman, is now a convicted felon held responsible for the sweat lodge deaths of three people in Arizona.

There are two organizations locally who sponsor sweat lodge experiences, The New Warrior Training Adventure and the Victories of the Heart Shadow weekend.

I have written about the Shadow weekend so called sweat lodge and do not recommend it.

The New Warrior’s sweat lodge has trained leaders and follows strict protocols and is likely to be the closest version of a Native American sweat lodge experience including the respect for the spiritual and cleansing purpose of the lodge.

While I believe the New Warrior training program’s sweat lodge to be better organized, my positive comments should not be seen as an endorsement.

How do you spell relief? D-I-S-C-L-O-S-U-R-E

Therapists and clients alike understand the relief provided by the disclosure of sad, angry, fearful memories. Therapy is a place where people should feel safe enough to disclose anything they choose, significant or insignificant.

In dysfunctional families or organizations, people are often exposed to behavior which shocks
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If you are reading my blog or know me, you realize I like to use the cognitive restructuring exercise a lot. It is a great tool to help clients evaluate their own thoughts, beliefs, feelings and behavior.

It works great in evaluating alcohol problems. Here is how it works…

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The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for triggering the “fight, flight, or freeze” reaction in human beings.

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People in power routinely stay in power through intimidation, bribery, threats, and other malignant methods.

In one of the most alarming pieces of evidence in the allegations of sexual abuse against Jerry Sandusky, we are learning a boy stepped forward, Victim 6, and accused Sandusky of taking a shower with him nude with another boy.

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Examining the religious right wing activism defending catholic clergy sex abusers and the response of the church, it’s pretty easy to understand why Joe Paterno didn’t do anything to protect the children being raped by Jerry Sandusky.

He’s Joe Paterno and probably feels entitled to do whatever he wants, just like Bill Donohue, Bishop Finn of Kansas City, the catholic pope, and the entire catholic church hierarchy.
Bill Donohue, Executive Director of Catholic League Center for Religious and Civil Rights,

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The first goal in my work with couples is to teach a method of speaking and listening using research based communication concepts. These concepts include “I” statements,  non-defensive or active listening, and asking clearly for what you want.It’s more difficult than it looks. The key problem is most of us did not grow up in families where effective communication was either taught or modeled.As a result, we learned some very bad lessons which keep us unhappy in our relationships.

These bad lessons are called “cognitive distortions” or unhealthy rules/beliefs about the way we should relate to each other, including blaming, criticizing, mind-reading, and black and white thinking. Click here for more examples and definitions.

In the exercise, the speaker only makes “I” statements, identifies and expresses feelings and says what they wish for.

The listener only active listens, reflecting what the speaker is saying, using the speakers words, and helping them say more about their thoughts, feelings and wishes.

It w

There are many disturbing patterns emerging as more is revealed about the sex abuse allegations against former Penn State University football coach, Jerry Sandusky.

What we know right now is a graduate student witnessed Jerry Sandusky raping a 10 year old boy in the showers in the Penn State university football locker room.

Sandusky had a pattern of taking showers with boys in this location.

He was discovered having oral sex with a boy by a janitor, who did not report for fear of being fired.

more later

When I read this article, I couldn’t believe the extreme amount of money our country could save if Republicans in our government would admit that the problems in our economy would be helped if we raise taxes.

11.6 million every hour…get the calculator out…24 hours multiplied by 365 days equals too much for me to know how to describe…any math wizards out there?

it’s a lot and would help dearly for all of us struggling to support ourselves and families.