Nov 14 2008

A letter

Published by at 12:37 pm under Counseling & Psychotherapy

William F Martin, LCSW

1300 West Belmont # 309

Chicago, Illinois 60657




January 9


Dear John and Jerry:


I am attaching the correspondence I have had with Saul, Sherry and Barry for your review.


As you can see, I am trying to learn how you handle the issue of clothing/gym shorts, etc at the Shadow weekend.


I want to be direct with both of you and not be secretive about it. I don’t believe it’s unrealistic of me to think your solution to the nudity issue many years ago would be to sidestep the real issues of how trauma memories are stored and the potential of someone with sexual abuse histories being triggered and injured psychologically by events on weekends.


I am also attaching the letter from the VOH lawyer which states pretty clearly I was lying and distorting other writing I have done, especially as it relates to the inappropriate events which occurred between us, namely the pot and rat and abusive language triangulating me, you and bob and Jose.


I think any objective person would agree the ways in which I was treated, especially during the “scandals” of VOH were abusive to me and characteristic of a very dysfunctional organization.


I was persuaded believed the dysfunction was a result of Neal, etc. However the four years I was a leader allowed me to see the dysfunction ran deeper. I have said this before, but Shadow, as it is commonly understood, is often only discovered in relationship through addressing conflict. This never happened in VOH.


In fact, there was a lot of activity which was very much a concern to me. The disastrous attempt for the Breakthrough leaders to share leadership was evidence of this. On Saturday night, you guys bitched about Kurt taking control and acting unilaterally.


The next official meeting, you both confronted  me for “taking over” a psychodrama and interfering with your ability to work together, even though you knew I had no idea the guy was John’s client or what you wanted to do together.


Then the joke of the nudity issue process…I was sick, in the process of discovering I lost a lot of money. Wouldn’t you think I had better things to do than go to a worthless meeting where all the decisions had been made before hand? I knew how easily Kurt could be manipulated by all you guys. I feel certain phone calls happened before the meeting, Kurt agreed to the faulty idea of gym shorts and the meeting was just to force the solution through in an undemocratic way.


I feel certain you never told Kurt you guys were pissed at him for being controlling and unilateral.


Instead you attack me for something that had more to do with your inability to ask for something for yourselves or be accountable for what you didn’t do, vs what I did innocently.


If you guys told me to jump through fire, I probably would have tried. I wanted nothing  more than to be considered a member of the team. I had no special desire to lead anything.  I had a desire to help VOH change, knew how that could happen, and proceeded to do so in the roles I was assigned.


I can only wonder why you both turned on me there at the end. You knew what Jose was capable of doing. His verbal abuse was not the ultimate problem, but his refusal to apologize was remarkable to observe and experience. For you guys to refuse to support me in confronting him was shocking and an example of the dysfunction in the organization.


Communication was between the two leaders, other leaders were suspect, conflict and truth was swept under the rug, and people who were injured, like me and Jay Karant, were ignored and written off as borderline, or whatever degrading “diagnosis” could be made.


Here is an opportunity for you to speak up to defend me when you are asked about this request of mine for information. I’m not asking for anything else. In an ideal world, you would also acknowledge publically the threatening legal letter from Kurt to me was an effort to force me to be silent, rather than a protection of anyone being defamed.


Trauma memory is stored implicitly and is timeless. Yes, you both apologized individually to me, however there is no doubt excluding me from the Psychodrama workshop was just evidence of whitewashing any productive contribution I made to Victories over the years. I have not disappeared.







Bill Martin, LCSW




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