Aug 11 2008

Have a narcissist magnet? Read Emotional Vampires: Dealing with people who drain you dry, by Albert J.Bernstein, Ph.D

Do you wonder if you have a magnet that attracts people who only want to take from you and drain you dry?

If so, you should read Albert Bernstein’s book, Emotional Vampires… so you can learn to spot a narcissist quickly. Here are some of the characteristics to look for in emotional vampires…

  • Vampires are different than you. You may be sensitive to other peoples feelings. Vampires have little to no empathy. They are really only concerned about what they can “take” from you, in terms of money, work, recruitment for their cause, and even sex.
  • Vampires believe their needs trump everyone elses’ needs. They often may claim to be driven by lofty principals, but when it comes down to it, they are only motivated by their own selfish desires in the moment.
  • Vampires really don’t apologize ever, because they believe they are never wrong. The best you may get sounds something like, “It is regrettable that you feel that way…let’s try to meet sometime in the next few months and we shall talk about this…”
  • What the vampire really means is, “I am not really sorry for anything, because you caused whatever upset occurred and I will allow you to apologize to me sometime down the road…”
  • Vampires do not observe rules. Whatever they want to do, they do. Rules or expectations are for everyone else. Great examples of this are those vampires who spend a lot of time telling others to do charity work or concerned about the needy…then do the exact opposite.
  • For specific examples of emotional vampires, think religious leaders and politicians…for some of them..“a sense of entitlement, rules don’t apply to me and I don’t really have to apologize, in fact I am the one who was injured” seems like the common course of action in their lives.

Remember, learn to spot the emotional vampires in your lives.

Test the ones you know to see if they have any potential for change, and set limits with the others.

They will not help you, no matter what they say.

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