Apr 07 2008

Emotional coaching: 5 Steps to extraordinary parenting

Having raised an 18 year old daughter, I know from my own experience that using a research based parenting strategy is the only way to do it.

Otherwise, we are left with lame ideas we learned from our own parents failed attempts to be good parents.

Unless of course you were among the minority who had excellent parents.

The best book on parenting is John Gottman’s book, Raising emotionally intelligent children: the heart of parenting.

My wife and I used this strategy ourselves and I have had great success guiding other parents in this method.

Here are the 5 basic steps:

  1. Be aware of your children’s emotions
  2. See emotionally difficult times as opportunities for teaching and experiencing greater intimacy
  3. Listen empathically and validate your children’s feelings
  4. Help your children give names (mad, sad, happy, afraid) to their feelings
  5. Set limits while helping your children problem-solve

Why use a parenting strategy like this?Here are some of the scientifically validated outcomes after a generation of research was completed:



    • Increased ability to calm down heart rate when upset
    • Fewer infectious diseases due to healthier immune system functioning
    • Better relationship skills
    • Read feedback and understand people more effectively
    • Perform better in academic settings




    The parenting strategy identified was based on the methods used by the parents whose children were the most successful at the end of the research period. There were two samples of about 120 families studied over about 25 years.
    It is a highly effective method and can be started at any point in the parenting process.

    If you want your children to be successful, responsible, lovingĀ human beings, give this strategy a closer look.

    Try it, you and your children will like it.



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