Apr 01 2008

Are your colleagues at work (especially your boss) narcissists?

If you feel exhausted and burned out dealing with your colleagues at work, (or anywhere) then it is likely they are narcissists or have those self focused qualities. Here are some questions to help you evaluate your situation:

  • Do you feel like they have an unreasonable need for attention and being brown-nosed?
  • Do you feel exhausted after trying to raise an issue of conflict with them?
  • Do they react with anger if you disagree or express a conflict with them?
  • Do they have an unreasonable sense of entitlement?
  • Do you feel taken advantage of by them?
  • Do you sense they believe you are lucky to work with someone as special as they may be?
  • Do they look for ways to define serious problems as someone elses fault and blame them?
  • Do you find that you are saying the same thing over and over to them?
  • Do they tell you they really do hear you, but then do nothing about your concerns?
  • Do you find that they may set up other people who are needy to fight you or resist the changes you are advocating?
  • Do you believe that if you “try harder” explain yourself better, or even use scientific research to support your position, that maybe then you will have some influence on the “way things get done?”
  • Do you witness other people who probably think like you, but just let things go because they want to be “nice?”
  • Do you sense in yourself that you are reluctant to really compete with them to win (go for the jugular) …for fear of their rejection or abandonment?

Bottom line…dealing with narcissists requires us to change ourselves…the narcissists will not listen to arguments for change…their fragile sense of self needs to be built up by having needy people around them feed their vulnerability.

Narcissists are emotional vampires, and needy people are their victims.

Here is are some funny, but powerful cartoons showing narcissism at work.

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