Mar 31 2008

Narcissism…have you fallen in love with someone who loves themselves more?

Freud gave us the term Narcissism to describe those people who tend to have little insight about the impact of their selfish, self-absorbed, and dominating behavior on others.

If you didn’t know this, Narcissus was the young man (is there meaning here?)in Greek mythology who fell in love with his own reflection in the water.

Kind of hard to have workable relationships with people who love themselves more than others.

In a WikiAnswers site, a woman tells the story of how she manages her narcissistic husband. She says she approaches everything she needs with first telling her husband how it will help him.

She says, “I…make everything about him…I pitch it to him as to what he would get out of it…”
Narcissistic people can be described as grandiose, have a sense of entitlement, need a lot of admiration, think of themselves as special and can be arrogant and jealous of others achievements.

If you are involved with a narcissist either personally or at work, the first clue is that they may smile a lot and be charming, but at the end of the day, you feel like your life-force has been stolen from you.

There are solutions, but they deal with you changing your behavior and letting go of the fantasy that all your good work, intentions and productivity will lead to a change.

The narsissist’s desire to stay on top in the relationship is akin to the game, king of the mountain that kids play. No matter what you do to get to the top of the mountain with the narcissist, they will kick you back down.

You have to learn to change yourself and fight to protect your own integrity.

Couples therapists who are knowledgeable about these patterns in relationships (narcissists love people who are talented, but depressed), can be very helpful in developing more sustainable, balanced relationships.

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